Black Women: Recognizing Depression and How Others Can Help

By Desiree Robinson
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As Black Women, we carry way too much on our backs. This can lead to depression, anxiety and more severely, suicidal thoughts. Too often in the Black Community we utter emotionally dismissive words. “We’ll get through it. Don’t focus on the negative. Don’t think about the past. Move on. Get over it. Better is coming.” While it is encouraging to speak positively, tucking away the ‘tough times’ can cause issues with self-esteem and anxiety. The common stigma placed on Black Women is that we are strong all of the time.  This causes us to feel that we cannot show emotion or if we are feeling down and need time to ourselves, we have to hide it in our tears alone at night in our bedrooms. As women, we are genetically predisposed to being highly emotional creatures and by eliminating the possibility of being able to openly express ourselves in a judgement free zone, it hinders our emotional growth and feeds the other stereotype of the “Angry Black Woman.”
Depression is defined as “the persistent feeling of sadness or loss of interest that characterizes major depression can lead to a range of behavioral and physical symptoms. These may include changes in sleep, appetite, energy level, concentration, daily behavior, or self-esteem. Depression can also be associated with thoughts of suicide.”
Growing up, I’ve faced a lot of difficult situations that affected my trust in other women, my friendships, my relationships and my self esteem. I was the little black girl that mostly kept to herself but was extremely defensive due to the mental and physical abuse that happened behind closed doors. I was teased at school for having acne, girls would pretend to be my friend as a cruel joke, my older sister would call me ugly and ‘baldheaded’ and boys turned me down because i had a tom-boyish physique. As a little girl, i had no idea how to cope with these negative feelings. As a result, i would cry when i was alone and write letters to my mom telling her how i hated myself. But mostly, i would harbor all of these negative feelings to the point where i began to have extreme anxiety. Doing simple things like walking to my friend’s house or going to the corner store were very difficult for me. I would literally look out of the window waiting for the guys outside of the corner store to clear out before i would dart out of my house and power walk down the street wearing a purple hoodie no matter the temperature outside. This was my security blanket and as i grew older that purple hoodie turned into makeup and weave.
The concealer hid the dark circles from sleepless and tear-filled nights. The lipstick drew attention to the one muscle most people paid no attention to : my voice. The foundation covered the acne scars and created a mask that allowed me to look into the mirror and see someone who didn’t suffer. The weave shielded the view of my short, 4z hair and caused men to stare instead of laugh and point. And with every stroke of the makeup brush, with every track covered in weave glue, i buried more and more of my issues and created a ball of depression that would follow me into motherhood.
“Fuck it, I’ll do it” is a phrase often uttered and acted out by Black Women during times of adversity. Adversity being providing for the children, taking care of our husbands/spouse, handling the bills/finances, working multiple jobs, taking the children to the doctors, picking them up from daycare/babysitter, cooking dinner, cleaning the house, walking the dog, going to school, being an entrepreneur, teaching her sons to follow the law and why are all cops aren’t bad cops, teaching their daughters that their hair/skin isn’t a mistake but a physical trait that other races loathe over, protesting and filing lawsuits against law enforcement for murdering her husband/father of her kids, fighting in wars to prove women are just as tactical as men, fighting for pay raises, standing front line with picket signs to end the policing of a woman’s body. It’s during these times that we need support and unfortunately, when we look to our left and to our right we only see each other. We join the fight of Feminism with our white sisters when women’s rights are being undermined. But when our black son is slain in the streets, the fight for them ends and suddenly doesn’t become their fight. We join the fight when our men are brutalized by police and scream “Black Lives Matter”  while our men ignore the cries of Koryyn Gaines and Sandra Bland.
“Fuck it, I’ll do it” is a battle cry from Black Women. It is a call to action for our men to stand up. You have a duty to provide for and protect the Black Woman. You have a duty to support us. Stand with us in the fight of depression and anxiety. Be our sanctuary.
How do I know if I am depressed?

• Mood: anxiety, apathy, general discontent, guilt, hopelessness, loss of interest, loss of interest or pleasure in activities, mood swings, or sadness, suicidal thoughts
• Sleep: early awakening, excess sleepiness, insomnia, or restless sleep
• Whole body: excessive hunger, fatigue, loss of appetite, or restlessness
• Behavioral: agitation, excessive crying, irritability, or social isolation
• Cognitive: lack of concentration, slowness in activity, or thoughts of suicide
• Weight: weight gain or weight loss
• Also common: poor appetite or repeatedly going over thoughts

If you suffer from at least two or more of these symptoms, please contact your health care provider to receive information on how to be evaluated.
If you are having suicidal thoughts or know someone who is suffering from extreme depression, please visit http://www.suicidepreventionhotline.com or call 1-800-273-8255 .
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